Holy crap! I'm so excited! I weighed this morning thinking that I would still be at four, maybe four and a half pounds lost, so imagine my surprise when: "You are six pounds below your starting weight!"
I would have crapped my pants, had I been wearing pants!
I'm sure I'll put a pound or so back on over the weekend, but I'm going to be very careful so I keep this six pound loss. I'm seriously so excited about it! Sadly, I have a thing tonight where there will be delicious things to eat, and then I'm supposed to meet a friend for an early lunch tomorrow, so we'll see how things go. I'm not going to never eat delicious things or never have lunch with my friends again. There has to be some balance. So I'm going to enjoy a few tasty treats tonight, and I'm going to enjoy lunch with my friend tomorrow, and if, on Tuesday, I'm at five pounds lost, well, there are worse things in life. I'm sure I'll be back to six pounds lost in no time. Especially since I think two to three pounds of weight loss is usually just poop and water (sorry, gross, I know) until you can really hang on to the loss for a couple of weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm still stoked for the loss, even if it isn't fat.
But I'm getting off track. The point is SIX POUNDS LOST was what the scale said this morning, and darn it, I'm going to celebrate it! Six pounds! Just four pounds left until I can get my hair cut! And 134 pounds and 23 1/2 months until Monaco!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Hair and clothes
I got on the scale this morning because I needed a bit of motivation. I was hoping and praying that it would show a loss, and... it did! Four pounds below my starting weight! Yay! Believe it or not, that one little pound was really helpful in motivating me to make good eating decisions today. This week I'm really busy with work so I don't know that I'll have time to exercise, but it's the eating that's going to get me to lose weight, so that's what I need the most motivation for. Motivation: found!
I decided, finally, to stop this crazy idea of growing my hair out and get my hair cut. I have a couple of really cute styles picked out, and I was going to go have my hair done this weekend, but then I thought, Why not make the haircut a reward for losing ten pounds?! So that's what I'm doing. Trust me, I want to have my hair cut bad enough to lose another six pounds. I really can't take it anymore. So I'll keep eating my Lean Cuisines and hopefully in another two weeks or so I'll be able to go get some new hair.
Can I just say a word or two about pants? This morning I put on a pair of jeans and realized that I hate them. HATE THEM. They fit (albeit a little snugly since they're fresh out of the wash), but awkwardly. Also, they're straight-legged. What on EARTH possessed me to buy straight-legged jeans? I'll tell you what: desperation. Because when you're fat, buying clothes isn't a mission to find a cute outfit that shows the world the person you really are. It's a grab-anything attempt at finding something to cover your body. If it makes you look good, so much the better. Oh, I could have gone to Lane Bryant and paid $50 for a pair of flare-legged jeans, but times are tough and I'm not going to pay $50 when I can buy pants for $20 at ShopKo. I tell you, I can't wait until I get back down to my low weight (probably about 45 pounds or so). I was still fat, but dang it, clothes were actually starting to look good on me, and I had a much wider selection of clothes to wear. I can't wait to get back there again. Heck, I won't even have to go shopping because I have all my old clothes still in my closet. Won't it be a good day when I can fit back into them? I think so.
So, back to work! For haircuts and smaller clothes! And, of course, Monaco!
I decided, finally, to stop this crazy idea of growing my hair out and get my hair cut. I have a couple of really cute styles picked out, and I was going to go have my hair done this weekend, but then I thought, Why not make the haircut a reward for losing ten pounds?! So that's what I'm doing. Trust me, I want to have my hair cut bad enough to lose another six pounds. I really can't take it anymore. So I'll keep eating my Lean Cuisines and hopefully in another two weeks or so I'll be able to go get some new hair.
Can I just say a word or two about pants? This morning I put on a pair of jeans and realized that I hate them. HATE THEM. They fit (albeit a little snugly since they're fresh out of the wash), but awkwardly. Also, they're straight-legged. What on EARTH possessed me to buy straight-legged jeans? I'll tell you what: desperation. Because when you're fat, buying clothes isn't a mission to find a cute outfit that shows the world the person you really are. It's a grab-anything attempt at finding something to cover your body. If it makes you look good, so much the better. Oh, I could have gone to Lane Bryant and paid $50 for a pair of flare-legged jeans, but times are tough and I'm not going to pay $50 when I can buy pants for $20 at ShopKo. I tell you, I can't wait until I get back down to my low weight (probably about 45 pounds or so). I was still fat, but dang it, clothes were actually starting to look good on me, and I had a much wider selection of clothes to wear. I can't wait to get back there again. Heck, I won't even have to go shopping because I have all my old clothes still in my closet. Won't it be a good day when I can fit back into them? I think so.
So, back to work! For haircuts and smaller clothes! And, of course, Monaco!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I'll take it
I got on the scale this morning. Three pounds below my starting weight. At first I was like, "CRAP!" But then I got some perspective and decided that three pounds is better than no pounds, and three pounds in one week is not bad--especially since I indulged over the weekend. So I'll take those three pounds, and I'll just have to keep doing my treadmill and making reasonable eating choices.
That brings me to tonight. I'm supposed to have dinner with my mom. I'm going to look up the restaurant's menu online and have my meal all chosen out before I even get there. That should help keep the calories at bay. I just hope I can actually stick to my plan once I get there. But if I don't, I can always pick right back up. After all, I do need balance in my eating. I've read a lot of bloggers who talk about following an 80/20 plan. 80% of the time they stick to their plan and 20% of the time they "cheat." That's the kind of plan I could really get behind, I think. I mean, there's no way I can be perfect all the time. I would go crazy. So planning little indulgences is probably good in the long run.
But enough rambling. Three pounds gone! On to week two! Hopefully I can lose another three pounds!
That brings me to tonight. I'm supposed to have dinner with my mom. I'm going to look up the restaurant's menu online and have my meal all chosen out before I even get there. That should help keep the calories at bay. I just hope I can actually stick to my plan once I get there. But if I don't, I can always pick right back up. After all, I do need balance in my eating. I've read a lot of bloggers who talk about following an 80/20 plan. 80% of the time they stick to their plan and 20% of the time they "cheat." That's the kind of plan I could really get behind, I think. I mean, there's no way I can be perfect all the time. I would go crazy. So planning little indulgences is probably good in the long run.
But enough rambling. Three pounds gone! On to week two! Hopefully I can lose another three pounds!
Monday, August 17, 2009
It's almost weigh-day!
So, was I perfect this weekend? No. I wasn't even close to perfect. But you know what? That's okay. Because yesterday I did much better than I normally would on a Sunday, and today I'm staying right on track calorie-wise. I have also already undergone my 20 minutes of treadmill bliss. Hooray! It may sound stupid, and I know I'm already making almost the least effort possible, but treadmilling is getting easier. I'm not sweating too much, and today I was even contemplating going for an extra five minutes. I decided against it, though, because I think it's best to take the working out thing very slowly. A few years ago I had built myself up to vigorously working out 45 minutes to an hour almost every day. But once I started to slip and gain weight back, my workouts seemed daunting and impossible, causing me to lazily hold my middle finger up in the general direction of the treadmill while I watched another episode of LOST. There may be 45-minute workouts in my future, but right now I need to take it slow and steady so I don't dread the idea of getting on the treadmill. Right now my treadmill and I aren't committed; we're just casually dating and seeing where things take us.
Even though I wasn't perfect with my eating this weekend, I'm kind of looking forward to weigh-day tomorrow. I had a three-pound loss when I weighed a few days ago. I think I definitely should have been able to at least maintain that and maybe even (dare I say it?) taken off another pound or so. **fingers crossed! fingers crossed!** Here's hoping week one of operation Monaco was successful! **clink!**
Even though I wasn't perfect with my eating this weekend, I'm kind of looking forward to weigh-day tomorrow. I had a three-pound loss when I weighed a few days ago. I think I definitely should have been able to at least maintain that and maybe even (dare I say it?) taken off another pound or so. **fingers crossed! fingers crossed!** Here's hoping week one of operation Monaco was successful! **clink!**
Friday, August 14, 2009
Backfire
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't paying for skipping dinner last night. I am STARVING right now!! I've even had two snacks, and they aren't holding me over. Yes, I've had water, too. I'm so looking forward to dinner right now, I can't even tell you. But I don't know what dinner's going to be yet. I'd better get on that.
Didn't work out today. My mom called and said she was bringing my grandma over to see my house. My grandma lives out of town and doesn't come to visit very often. This is the first time she's ever been to my house, and, given her distaste for travel, will probably be her last. So I've been running around the house cleaning like a mad woman for hours, making sure that my place looks its absolute best. I don't want Grandma thinking I live like a slob. Mostly I do live like a slob, but I don't want her thinking it. :) Anyway, my point is, I didn't get a chance to get on the treadmill before my mom called and dropped the bomb on me. The good news, though, is that I'm pretty sure I've probably burned more calories stooping and climbing and scrubbing and such than I ever would have walking for twenty minutes. So I'm not going to feel too bad about missing today's treadmill session. I've managed to stay on track eating-wise today, so everything's good. Tomorrow, on the other hand...
My nieces are sleeping over tonight and then I'm taking them school shopping tomorrow. Before I ever decided to set my goal to lose 140 pounds in 24 months, I told my nieces I would take them to lunch during/after our shopping session. Because, seriously, you can't have a day of shopping and not include lunch. It's just not done. So I'm praying that I can behave myself, wherever we go, and at least make a smart choice. Or, if I can't make a smart choice, then for heaven's sake keep the portion reasonable. That is my goal for tomorrow.
Didn't work out today. My mom called and said she was bringing my grandma over to see my house. My grandma lives out of town and doesn't come to visit very often. This is the first time she's ever been to my house, and, given her distaste for travel, will probably be her last. So I've been running around the house cleaning like a mad woman for hours, making sure that my place looks its absolute best. I don't want Grandma thinking I live like a slob. Mostly I do live like a slob, but I don't want her thinking it. :) Anyway, my point is, I didn't get a chance to get on the treadmill before my mom called and dropped the bomb on me. The good news, though, is that I'm pretty sure I've probably burned more calories stooping and climbing and scrubbing and such than I ever would have walking for twenty minutes. So I'm not going to feel too bad about missing today's treadmill session. I've managed to stay on track eating-wise today, so everything's good. Tomorrow, on the other hand...
My nieces are sleeping over tonight and then I'm taking them school shopping tomorrow. Before I ever decided to set my goal to lose 140 pounds in 24 months, I told my nieces I would take them to lunch during/after our shopping session. Because, seriously, you can't have a day of shopping and not include lunch. It's just not done. So I'm praying that I can behave myself, wherever we go, and at least make a smart choice. Or, if I can't make a smart choice, then for heaven's sake keep the portion reasonable. That is my goal for tomorrow.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Dealing with life
As I've learned in the past about weight loss, life will inevitably get in your way. It would be great if we could all just lock ourselves up on some fat farm where all there is to eat is organic fruits and vegetables, whole wheat pasta, and broiled chicken breasts, and the only thing to do is go on nature walks and watch bicycle-powered televisions, but sadly, this is not the case. Whether we're dieting (how I hate that word!) or not, we have messy life to live. Living, it seems, always stops up even the best-laid plans.
Here's the thing: I work from home. I don't get out much. So when an opportunity to meet friends for lunch comes up, 99% of the time I jump at the chance. The other 1% of the time, I reschedule lunch for a time I'm free (because I'd only turn down an invitation if I had a previous engagement, trust me). Because I do not, I repeat, I do not pass up a chance to get out and be social. The problem, though, is that lunch involves food. Food at a restaurant. Restaurants rarely have healthy and properly portioned food. It was a restaurant, dear reader, where I screwed up my eating today.
But I sure had a good time with my friends.
So, yeah, I ate too much and I chose something from the menu that wasn't exactly the healthiest choice. How do I plan to counterbalance my poor, gluttonous choices? By not eating dinner (not that hard since I'm not really hungry from overeating in the first place) and possibly logging another few minutes on the treadmill today. I know, I know, don't skip meals, blah, blah. I know from experience that I can go to bed without dinner and not freak out and eat a whole jar of peanut butter on raw, frozen Rhodes dough balls. It's not fun, and I'm a might peckish when all is said and done, but it's doable. And do it I shall!
I do it... for Monaco.
Here's the thing: I work from home. I don't get out much. So when an opportunity to meet friends for lunch comes up, 99% of the time I jump at the chance. The other 1% of the time, I reschedule lunch for a time I'm free (because I'd only turn down an invitation if I had a previous engagement, trust me). Because I do not, I repeat, I do not pass up a chance to get out and be social. The problem, though, is that lunch involves food. Food at a restaurant. Restaurants rarely have healthy and properly portioned food. It was a restaurant, dear reader, where I screwed up my eating today.
But I sure had a good time with my friends.
So, yeah, I ate too much and I chose something from the menu that wasn't exactly the healthiest choice. How do I plan to counterbalance my poor, gluttonous choices? By not eating dinner (not that hard since I'm not really hungry from overeating in the first place) and possibly logging another few minutes on the treadmill today. I know, I know, don't skip meals, blah, blah. I know from experience that I can go to bed without dinner and not freak out and eat a whole jar of peanut butter on raw, frozen Rhodes dough balls. It's not fun, and I'm a might peckish when all is said and done, but it's doable. And do it I shall!
I do it... for Monaco.
I love the scale right now
This morning I got on the scale and miracle of miracles! Three pounds below my starting weight! Hallelujah! Once I got the good news, I promptly picked up the scale and put it on a high shelf in my closet. I'm not weighing again until next Tuesday. Why? Because after losing two and a half pounds in one day (well, according to the scale), I'm probably going to see a gain either tomorrow or Saturday. I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment by keeping the scale around. So the scale has been put away for a few days, and I'll bring it out for an official weigh-in next week. Here's hoping I'll keep those three pounds lost and hopefully add a pound or two to that total. Skippee!
This morning I was actually able to wake up earlier than I have in weeks thanks to melatonin and a continued effort to get to bed on time rather than staying up until all hours of the night watching TV. I meant to get right on the treadmill this morning, but honestly, my muscles are so tight when I first wake up that even a normal-paced walk is uncomfortable. I also thought it might be a good idea to get some calories in me since I only ate about 950 yesterday. I admit that's not good, and I don't condone it. As I said yesterday, I was only allowing myself to eat so few because I knew I would be making up for it Saturday when I went out with my nieces. So I ate some breakfast, and now I'm going to try to get some work done and digest it a little before I go back upstairs to walk on the treadmill and shower and get ready. Here's to temptation staying out of my way!
This morning I was actually able to wake up earlier than I have in weeks thanks to melatonin and a continued effort to get to bed on time rather than staying up until all hours of the night watching TV. I meant to get right on the treadmill this morning, but honestly, my muscles are so tight when I first wake up that even a normal-paced walk is uncomfortable. I also thought it might be a good idea to get some calories in me since I only ate about 950 yesterday. I admit that's not good, and I don't condone it. As I said yesterday, I was only allowing myself to eat so few because I knew I would be making up for it Saturday when I went out with my nieces. So I ate some breakfast, and now I'm going to try to get some work done and digest it a little before I go back upstairs to walk on the treadmill and shower and get ready. Here's to temptation staying out of my way!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A good day
Today was a good day. Well, it was a good day for weight loss--it's not like I won the lottery (sadly) or anything. I got 22 minutes of treadmill time in, and I was able to control my eating. And it wasn't even hard. Hallelujah for eating less and not being hungry! Because, let's be honest, I'm hungry most of the time, even when I'm not trying to eat less. Just one of the perks of being me. Here's what was on the menu today:
100 calorie pack kettle corn
Diet Orange Crush
Diet Coke
Egg
Kashi bar
Lean Cuisine
Canned fruit
Slim-Fast
Makes you wish you were me, doesn't it? All that comes in at less than 1000 calories, which really is fewer calories than I should be eating. But I'm taking my nieces to lunch on Saturday, and there have been rumors of lunch with friends either tomorrow or Friday. So I figure eating too few calories today will help even out the over abundance of calories I'm sure to consume sooner or later.
The good news? According to the scale, I lost half a pound yesterday. I'll take it! 139.5 pounds left!
100 calorie pack kettle corn
Diet Orange Crush
Diet Coke
Egg
Kashi bar
Lean Cuisine
Canned fruit
Slim-Fast
Makes you wish you were me, doesn't it? All that comes in at less than 1000 calories, which really is fewer calories than I should be eating. But I'm taking my nieces to lunch on Saturday, and there have been rumors of lunch with friends either tomorrow or Friday. So I figure eating too few calories today will help even out the over abundance of calories I'm sure to consume sooner or later.
The good news? According to the scale, I lost half a pound yesterday. I'll take it! 139.5 pounds left!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
A dose of hard reality
The good news: this morning I got up and got right on the treadmill. Today's treadmilling: DONE
The bad news: I decided to measure my stomach, waist, and hips to get a starting reference. Wow. How depressing. I didn't realize how big I really was. I mean, it's easy to detach from a weight because everybody carries their weight differently and you can kind of lie to yourself that you have a lot of muscle or big bones or whatever lie you think up for yourself. But measurements, well, they're pretty blunt. Anyway, so I measured and swallowed really hard, then wrote the measurements down along with today's date. I'll go give them a look in about a month and see if there hasn't been any improvement. And sweet merciful heavens, I hope there will be.
I was thinking in the shower that even though I've given myself twenty-four months to reach my goal, I can't think of losing weight as a twenty-four month project. I really need to keep things day-to-day, and not think about tomorrow when I might be confronted with some obstacle that will make weight-loss hard or inconvenient. So, like the alcoholics, I'm taking things one day at a time, or even one minute at a time if I have to. In the end, all those minutes will be days, and the days will add up to twenty-four months. And then--Monaco!
The bad news: I decided to measure my stomach, waist, and hips to get a starting reference. Wow. How depressing. I didn't realize how big I really was. I mean, it's easy to detach from a weight because everybody carries their weight differently and you can kind of lie to yourself that you have a lot of muscle or big bones or whatever lie you think up for yourself. But measurements, well, they're pretty blunt. Anyway, so I measured and swallowed really hard, then wrote the measurements down along with today's date. I'll go give them a look in about a month and see if there hasn't been any improvement. And sweet merciful heavens, I hope there will be.
I was thinking in the shower that even though I've given myself twenty-four months to reach my goal, I can't think of losing weight as a twenty-four month project. I really need to keep things day-to-day, and not think about tomorrow when I might be confronted with some obstacle that will make weight-loss hard or inconvenient. So, like the alcoholics, I'm taking things one day at a time, or even one minute at a time if I have to. In the end, all those minutes will be days, and the days will add up to twenty-four months. And then--Monaco!
Monday, August 10, 2009
End of day one
Today got off to a bad start, but I picked things back up. I finally got to the treadmill and walked a mile, which took me twenty minutes. Hey, I never said I was going to walk fast. Honestly, it's been so long since I've worked out with any kind of regularity that I really need to take things slowly. And twenty minutes at a comfortable pace went by surprisingly quickly (because you know exercise time moves so much more slowly than normal time), so it's not like I'm dreading doing it again. Sadly, my mom's saying that the only way to get motivated is to do the thing you want to be motivated about is true. Today I took the hardest step, which was just getting back on the treadmill. I had it in my mind that walking on the treadmill was boring and sweaty and stinky and hard and so on and so forth. It really wasn't. And shocker of shockers, I actually felt pretty good afterward! I know from experience that exercise helps keep the depression at bay, gives me more energy, and helps me fall asleep and get better-quality sleep. Twenty minutes of walking on the treadmill every day will not kill me. I need to repeat that to myself over and over again.
Of course exercising is useless if I'm not eating right, and I think I did pretty well today. I ate about 1700 calories, which is probably a little less than I burn in a day, but not enough for the weight loss I need. Today's just the first day, though, so it's probably a good thing that I didn't starve myself. I did, however, make smarter, healthier choices than I normally would, so I'm considering today a success. I didn't pig out and I got some exercise. I also drank 36 oz of water, which is 36 oz more than I usually drink. Trust me, kicking the Diet Coke habit will definitely one of my small goals over the next twenty-four months. Heaven save me.
I realized today that I forgot to weigh in. Brilliant. I guess I'll just have to use tomorrow's weight as my starting weight and go from there. I really am off to a bumpy start, aren't I? It figures.
Of course exercising is useless if I'm not eating right, and I think I did pretty well today. I ate about 1700 calories, which is probably a little less than I burn in a day, but not enough for the weight loss I need. Today's just the first day, though, so it's probably a good thing that I didn't starve myself. I did, however, make smarter, healthier choices than I normally would, so I'm considering today a success. I didn't pig out and I got some exercise. I also drank 36 oz of water, which is 36 oz more than I usually drink. Trust me, kicking the Diet Coke habit will definitely one of my small goals over the next twenty-four months. Heaven save me.
I realized today that I forgot to weigh in. Brilliant. I guess I'll just have to use tomorrow's weight as my starting weight and go from there. I really am off to a bumpy start, aren't I? It figures.
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